Time to Set a Goal!

Have you ever felt lost in life?  Like you’re aimlessly wandering around from day to day without any sense of direction or purpose?  Well that is how I feel right now.  It’s no surprise considering I always feel this way when I’m not working or going to school.  Work and/or school keep me grounded, and more importantly provide me with a schedule.  I don’t know why, but I need to have a schedule, otherwise I can’t seem to get out of bed in the morning.  It is so silly!  Sometimes I hate that schedule, but I know I need it.  I need a reason to get out of bed, to get in the shower and get ready, and somewhere I have to be each day otherwise I turn into Zombie Kelly.  I know what you’re thinking poor Kelly with all her free time she needs to have more self-discipline.  Yeah, yeah, I know.  I put myself through college and I have been working non-stop since I graduated High School so I know a thing or two about self-discipline.  But right now I need an extra push, that extra sense of obligation, a deadline of sorts.  When I have that I can accomplish great things, but without it I am Zombie Kelly.

I know what I need to get out of this funk; I need to set some goals.  That is precisely how I got out of the forever a community college student conundrum I was in for eight years.  One day I realized if I didn’t hurry up and make college a priority I would never graduate, and that was not an option.  I sat down and mapped out a plan to complete my lower division courses in one year, and made an appointment with a college counselor to get started on my transfer agreement with U.C. Davis.  I worked full-time during the day, went to night school two nights a week until 10 p.m., and I had an all day Saturday class on the weekends.  I was a full-time employee and a full-time student for a solid year.  My only day off was Sunday, and of course that was the day I usually worked on my homework.  I was exhausted, but I was determined.  And it didn’t get any easier once I transferred to UCD.  Financial Aid allowed me to drop down to part-time work, but a full-time load of classes at UCD is serious business and I juggled work and school for a solid two years before finally graduating. 

I was able to accomplish everything above, yet now I can’t get out of bed in the morning?  Where did my motivation go?  I know a lot of it has to do with financial worries.  I feel like I have been struggling for the last three years, and that kind of worry and stress is exhausting, and will make anyone want to bury their head in the sand…or sleep all day, whichever.  But I know better.  I know denial never helped anyone.  And I know the only way to solve my problems is to get off my lazy butt and do something!  I am mad at myself for becoming so complacent and apathetic.  I need to remember my college days, and how much I would have given to have this much free time back then.  And I know when I start working again and/or Graduate School I will remember this time and kick myself for not accomplishing more.  So wake-up Zombie Kelly, it is time to set a goal.  

I have been talking about becoming a Social Worker for years.  I decided while at UCD that I wanted to pursue a graduate degree, and after talking to a few wonderful Professors and Counselors about my idea of a dream job, we all determined in order for me to be happy I have to work face-to-face with the public.  Any other degree would guarantee me a good job, but social work would guarantee me a job helping people at the grassroots level.

Graduate applications are due in March, perfect timing for my thirtieth birthday!  So, my goal is to complete and submit my application to California State Los Angeles, and California State Sacramento (just in case!) before my thirtieth birthday March 24, 2011.  And since my application will be good and ready, I may even send it to a few more exciting schools, we will see and you will have to check in on my blog every once in a while to find out!