Tough Week

Well this has been a pretty tough week.  Some stuff happened, bad stuff that I won’t elaborate on publicly, that forced Rich and I to make some long overdue tough decisions.  But in reality, I am glad things happened the way they did.  Before you ask no we aren’t breaking-up, it’s more financial.

I must say a weight has been lifted from both of our shoulders.  We have been worrying about this stuff for years.  At least now we are finally taking action, and we can move on with our lives. 

We were planning to apply to rescue a Boston terrier this week, but we have to wait and concentrate on more pressing matters.  I have a hard time giving up on things I want, but it is the practical thing to do.  There is a chance Zule the Boston will still be there in a month or so, but I have a sneaking suspicion he will be adopted fast!  As long as he finds a good home, that’s all I can hope for at the moment.  And if he is still available next month, it was meant to be!

Sorry this blog is a bit vague, but like I said I don’t want to air all my dirty laundry.  I’m more writing to make sure I remember this week.  It has been a valuable learning lesson for me to be more practical with my finances, and to make better decisions.

I will keep you updated if anything new or exciting happens, most definitely it we adopt Zule, the Boston!

Why Are People So Different?

Is it just me, or are people impossible to understand?  Most people have their groups of friends and family who they know and understand, but when you go outside of that, all the rules change.  Everyone thinks differently, and has different expectations about how others ought to behave.  And it’s maddening to try to understand it all.


There are some general rules of society that most people respect and follow, and I do mean most not all: respect others right to privacy, property, and their own opinion, unless you’re gay, then every straight person in the U.S gets to tell you how you ought to spend your private time, who you ought to purchase property with, and how you ought to feel about your own sexuality.  But that’s another blog entirely, so I digress.

Some people are positive, negative, proactive, inactive, passive, aggressive, rational, irrational, upfront, quiet, expressive, shy, religious, atheist, optimistic, pessimistic, peaceful, aggravated, open-minded, close-minded, accepting, judgmental, loving, spiteful, generous, selfish, caring, self-centered, well-rounded, oblivious, moody, and the list goes on and on…

I’m no psychologist, but this can’t all be neurological.

I do have a degree in Sociology, and you think that would help me understand all this, but it doesn’t completely.  It helps me understand the motivations behind a lot of different behaviors, cultural influences, race and gender, that sort of stuff, but it doesn’t help me understand how people who live in the same community, with the same lifestyles, can be so incredibly different in every way.  Family has a lot to do with it, whether its blood related, or a family created amongst friends, but you would think the general human condition would bring people closer, in times other than just disaster.

I guess with all these different personalities walking around, it’s easy to understand why some people withdraw and chose to not participate or try to understand other people.  That helps us get down to the heart of the problem; people have stopped communicating and caring about others.  They live in their own worlds, and shut everything out.  They have ideas about what they want out of life, and don’t care to stop and look around, and see past their own wants and desires.

Or maybe people are just stubborn.  That’s something most people have in common.  I suppose it is just the American way.

But then you witness people coming together, collaborating, and working to solve the same problem as a group.  I have witnessed that here in Nevada.  Reno is a small town, and the state of Nevada has a lot of remote rural areas, it would be easy for most Nevadans to live in their own worlds.  But no, local public, private, and non-profits come together and work to help other Nevadans in ways that seem far more efficient than anything I ever witnessed in California.

I suppose it is a difference in priorities.  Some people care about others, some people only care about their family and friends, and some people only care about themselves.  If you lump people into those three groups, we can probably assign characteristic traits from my list above typical of each group.   

The old saying goes it doesn’t matter what others think of you, but what you think of yourself.  But have we gone too far with this?  Sure it is not healthy to worry about what everyone thinks of you that will drive you insane too, but maybe we should worry just a little bit more about how others perceive us.  Of course there will always be people out there you can’t please, and I’m not saying worry about them, but think how different this world would be if we were all a little more compassionate and caring of others, not just the ones who matter to us most. 

With a little introspect, we will still live in a world with positive, negative, proactive, inactive, passive, aggressive, rational, irrational, upfront, quiet, expressive, shy, religious, atheist, optimistic, pessimistic, peaceful, aggravated, open-minded, close-minded, accepting, judgmental, loving, spiteful, generous, selfish, caring, self-centered, well-rounded, oblivious, and moody people. 

But we might be more willing to understand WHY people are so different, and to help others with the bad stuff, and complement them on the good stuff.  Communicate, stop closing people out, and living in our own worlds, and learn from others.  Maybe then people wouldn’t be so impossible to understand?  

Hopefully.

How I Got Here, and What I've Learned

Rewind one month to January 2010 and I had just finished one of the busiest months of work in my life, December, Christmas Season at The Salvation Army, Sacramento.  Most people are familiar with the Bell Ringers, but there is so much more that goes on behind the scenes.  While the Corps locations are busy providing vital social services, Coats for Kids, Toys for Tots, financial assistance, energy assistance, hot meals, warm blankets, and food boxes to people in need, the folks at Headquarters are processing tons of donations, and the Army goes above and beyond to acknowledge every donor.  Needless to say I stuffed countless gift bags for donors, hand wrote up to a thousand Christmas cards, and mailed out I don’t know how many Christmas CDs and ornaments.  Paper cut doesn’t even begin to describe it.  And while The Salvation Army was an extremely rewarding place to work, I couldn’t help but long for a more gratifying position.  After struggling for years to put myself through college, I felt my degree and years of work experience had earned me a better position than full-time paper pusher.  Yes this was my first job post-degree, and I did my best to stay patient while applying for promotions, but after a year I started to realize it might be time for me to move on.

In the midst of all this, Rich’s Uncle Jimmy contacted me about a health advocacy company he was starting out of Reno, through a NV state grant.  He knew about my experience in Healthcare and Non-Profit and wanted to talk to me about an exciting job possibility.  It was all very up in the air, but I told him if he was serious, I would be interested in talking with him.  A few months go by, and all of a sudden he called me up and said he wanted me to move to Reno and help start-up the company ASAP.  He basically caught me at the best time.  I was completely worn out at work, longing for a position with real responsibility, and desperately feeling the need for a change.  So yeah, that’s how I ended up here in Reno, and boy what a change it has been.

Working for a start-up has its challenges, but I’m really enjoying it.  Enough about work though, let me tell you about Reno.

The first thing I noticed when I moved here was how differently men behave around me.  In California I was acknowledged, but first thing when Rich and I pull up to our new place, our male landlord greets me, and promptly turns to Rich (my boyfriend) for the walk-thru.  Um, hello?  Then we go out to the casinos, and I can't get a drink from the male bartender unless I send Rich.  It continues at the grocery store, at restaurants, and even at Wal-Mart.  The men aren't necessarily rude, they just sorta ignore you.  Maybe they're trying to be polite, or give you space, but not acknowledging my presence is not going to work for me.  Sorry but I wasn't aware I'm supposed to follow my boyfriend around like a little lady, and let him do all the talking.  My landlord seems to have figured this out, and it has gotten better with him - thank goodness.  I've also learned to be more demanding of attention when I need it.  I'm sure some people think I can be pushy, but what choice do I have?  If being nice and polite doesn't work, I've got to toughen-up.

I also noticed that Reno has a much slower pace than I am accustom to. People move slower, speak slower, act slower, even drive slower.  Part of me appreciates the slower pace, but it has taken me some time to adjust.  First I find myself having to be more pushy with men, then they probably think I'm impatient on top of it.  On one hand it's caused me to slow down and take my time, but on the other hand it's caused me to become way too apathetic.  I don't really want to slow down, at least not too much, for fear I will lose my edge...or something?

Don't get me wrong, Reno is a fun place to live, and I'm not saying the locals are all "country" or anything like that.  Hey, I'm kind of country myself.  I'm just saying it has been an experience leaving the valley, and moving to the hills.  I will say I'm excited its almost summer!  It has finally stopped snowing, and there is so much to do here when the sun comes out!  Literally, every weekend.  Don't believe me, check out the link below.

www.visitrenotahoe.com

Anyway, thanks for reading and I will keep you posted on any new discoveries here in my so called life in Reno.

Kelly